Dating and Spouse-Choosing (L5)

Last week we talked about dating and the process we go through to choose who we want to date, which eventually leads to marriage. We talked about the "Know-Quo" which says it takes 3 things to really know someone: Talking, Time, and Togetherness. When talking, couples need to have mutual self-disclosure. Sometimes we feel like we know someone really well because we can "tell them everything." But that's not how it works; both people in the relationship need to be able to openly share with one another. Second, time, is very important. Less than 3 months of knowing someone isn't usually enough to actually know them. In class, we discussed the possible reasons for this. One that stood out to me the most was that you need enough time to be able to experience different situations with one another. And that leads to the last one, togetherness. Not only should you go on dates (which I will talk more about in a second), but you need to have a variety of situations, including ones you might encounter in marriage. Dating is one of those topics I thought we were done with when we graduated high school. However, I have heard little of anything else since attending BYU-Idaho. We tend to "hang out" far more than we date. Elder Oaks listed 3 things that constitute a date: Planned, paid for, and paired off. Planning the date means having a start and end time and not letting it drag out until you get bored or tired of it. Paid for doesn't always mean money; it means that everything you would need is taken care of. Paired off is the one we're struggling with most often. It's a way to make everyone feel wanted and included in the date. No one wants to be a third wheel. What I find fascinating is these P's of dating are parallel to what we find the The Family: A Proclamation to the World from the First Presidency of the church: Planned - Preside Paid for - Provide Paired off - Protect I love that! When we date, we should be modeling how we would act and treat one another in marriage. To end, I want to address this: we all say that this might be too hard, or hanging out is more convenient. We ended with a question that really stuck out to me: "If they can't wake a commitment for 2 hours, how can they commit for eternity?"